It was a hot day – too  hot to go for a run or be outside for my work-out until later in the day.  We decided to take the kids up to the local high school track for a workout.  Running, lunges, push-ups you name it we were doing it.  We looked like the “all American family”.  About half-way through our time at the track another family joined us.  First it was just a lady – as she walked by she said “what a fit family you are.”.  I said “well we are trying”.

She continued to walk around the track.  Soon, she was joined by her husband and older son.  She began pushing her son’s wheelchair around the track.  Sometimes she would walk, and then jog a bit.  It must have been quite a work-out to push him.  When I ran by, I noticed he had his leg amputated.  He was wearing a Livestrong hat.

We really did not have much interaction with this family but our presence and carefree nature was certainly evident to them and their reserved and somewhat quiet nature resonated with me.  I thought to  myself, I bet they are looking at our family and thinking – be careful, you never know what life will hand you, look at us – we have an adult child in a wheelchair.  Their life plan had clearly been altered.

As we left the track Glenn and I were talking about their son and assuming he was a cancer survivor.  We tried to make a bit of small talk with him on our way back to the car.  He was not very social (not that we blame him).  A few minutes later we realized we had left our car keys up at the track.  I ran back to get them and then found myself walking alongside the mother.

I asked her if her son was a cancer survivor.  She said no, he had been in a motorcycle accident and lost his leg.  While being treated at a local rehab hospital he was overdosed on pain meds which caused a brain injury forcing him into a wheelchair.   I was speechless.  She went on to say that he had just gotten married about a month before the accident and then his wife left him once the brain injury was confirmed.

I told her I noticed his Livestrong hat and stupidly assumed it was cancer that took his leg.   I told her briefly about Mason and his battle which pales in comparison but none the less felt like the right thing to do.  I told her that so often I think “we have paid our dues” and life should be easy from here on out.  A very dumb way to live but I do think that way sometimes.  She agreed especially since they had lost a child 20 years ago to infant Leukemia.  She figured what could be worse than that…and for so many years their life was “normal” and relatively good and then in a blink it all changed.  Just one month before she was set to retire from her job and start traveling the country, spending time with her grandchildren, her son gets in an accident.

It was so hard for me to believe and yet confirmed several of my deep rooted beliefs.

1. Life is short, enjoy every moment you can

2. Don’t assume “that could never happen to me” because it could and it may

3. You don’t have any clue what journey someone has been on just by looking at them

4. God gives us what we can handle and I don’t know why he has so much faith in certain people filling their plate with heartache

It was a good lesson for me and brought me right back to how very fortunate we are to have the life that we do.  It also made me mindful that in a blink our life could change once again and I need to walk the line of awareness without living in a state of paranoia.

A simple track workout turned out to be just what I needed to keep me grounded and get me back to writing.  I apologize for my absence.  I got a job about 6 weeks ago and have been submerged in that along with the business of life.

Wishing you a great Father’s Day with family!

Along my journey of life I have been presented with numerous perspective “checks”.  Many of them I share in my book (won’t you consider ordering a copy?)

Today I woke up, facing another day of job searching for my husband and I, another day of laundry, another day of children who are not feeling well.  Chores, a few errands if I can manage them. A day filled with a lot of “nothing”.  I am not going to the gym, don’t have any plans other than the grocery store.  In a word it was kind of a bleak outlook.  When I woke up, I actually thought to myself geez it has been a long time since I have had much to look forward to or get excited about.

Sometimes as a stay-at-home mom it can be a little like groundhog day – you know the same thing over and over and over again.  A blessing for sure, to be at home with my kids but I have to work at keeping things interesting.

I woke my son for school, made his lunch and then  I sat down at my computer to check some e-mail.  There were to updates from families of children with cancer.  I always make time to read Caringbridge updates and show my support.  It is one of the things I mentioned here that really helped us during our journey.

The first update was from a little boy who has had the worst 6 months in history.  He is being treated for Leukemia but can’t stay in remission, has had EVERY side effect and more from all the medications, tons of infections, chronic nausea and vomiting.  A true uphill battle each day.  They are trying to make it to bone marrow transplant in May.  My heart was heavy after reading his mom’s update.  I feel very helpless yet so grateful that our journey has ended.

The second update said this “As most of you already know…Our sweet baby girl  went to HEAVEN yesterday evening at 6:35.”

I can’t even begin to say anything to this family – I can’t wrap my head around what it would be like to loose a child, even after all we went through with Mason.

In times like this, when my life feels a bit “stressed” I am thankful that I can readjust my compass, find perspective and realize the simple blessings in my life.  I feel stronger, like I can overcome this “molehill” in our life.

I hope just reading about these two families will give you a bit a perspective as well.

This post is linked to Steady Mom’s 30 min blog challenge~

This post is linked to Works for Me Wednesday at We Are THAT Family.

Photo by Seraphimc

You have been waiting for this moment for months, maybe even years – the big day is near; perhaps a wedding, big race (triathlon, marathon), huge birthday party celebration, graduation, birth of a child,or large fundraising event. {For me it is the end of Mason’s treatment} The planning, thinking, celebrating, waiting and anticipation are killing you. It consumes your days and sometimes nights.   Can you relate? Have you experienced this before?

As the big day nears you start to feel anxiety over what you will do once it is over.  The let down of the big event and what life will hold after.  I remember wishing my wedding day could last forever.  After it was over it was like – well now what.  I am going to be like every other married person – no longer a “bride”.  No longer the “graduate”.  Your time is suddenly going to “free up” from thinking, planning, calling, organizing, meeting, decision making and more.

Then all of the sudden the day comes and goes – the child is born, the wedding day is over, the birthday party is a hit, the graduation is a mere memory. In a sense, you cross the finish line. You are finished – done-finito – There is often a huge let down.  It can be hard to explain – an empty sort of feeling.  A feeling of “loss” per say.  Am I the only one who has experienced this?

It can be scary.  I think it is a normal response to the “finish line”.  The type “A” people out there (not that I can relate) most likely will struggle with this phenomenon more often.  What can you do?  Here is my  thought two cents on this one.

1. Decompress – allow (or force) yourself some time to decompress, breath and take it one hour at a time.  Savor down time after a big life event.

2. Keep perspective – I know, you are rolling your eyes – here she goes with the perspective thing again…I think it is true – allow yourself to feel a bit lost or let down after the big event but know that you can’t hang on to it forever. Move on and look forward to other things that life has to offer.

3. Find a new “goal” to work toward.  Nothings says motivation like getting involved in a new activity.  Train for another (or a first) athletic event, make a scrapbook of the said event (wedding, birthday party, fundraiser)

4. Catch up on all the things in your life that had to take a back seat.  Home organizing projects, cleaning, keeping in touch with friends, reading that stack of books, play dates, coffee dates etc.

5. Embrace freedom!  Freedom from planning, freedom from details, freedom from training you get the idea.  While crossing the finish line can be a bittersweet event being on the other side has it’s benefits too!

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Are the days of using good old pen and paper a thing of the past?   How about handwriting a note to a friend?  When was the last time you wrote a note to someone?

You may not even have a pen and paper handy which is not surprising with e-mail, twitter, Facebook, texting, iphones, blackberries, instant messages you may be thinking WHY on earth would I need to write a note.

Specifically for that reason – NO one ever does it any more.  A few weeks ago I got the card shown above from an old friend.  It made my day!

Here are some reasons why you should use a pen instead of e-mail every now and again.

1. It shows you care - it takes time to write a note, address it and mail it.  No, not a ton of time but more time than shooting off an e-mail.

2. It is MUCH more personal. If you are thinking of someone it is nice to tell them so and while Facebook might be an acceptable medium nothing compares to getting a note or card in the mail.

3. It becomes a tangible keepsake. I save cards and notes (not all  of them but some).  I re-read them and always smile when I do.  It is a great pick me up (especially notes from my mom who passed 4 years ago)

4. You will be helping someone add more “ing” to their life because when they get your note they will be smilING.

5. It makes you feel good to do something nice for someone else.  Feeling good is contagious.

6. When you are someone who sends a handwritten note or card you are turning the ordinary (going to the mailbox and retreiving the mail) into the extraordinary for your friend or loved one.

Sending a note or a card for no reason is such a thoughtful and small act of kindness.  It is also very important to think of people in their time of need.

When you know a friend is struggling, send a card – write your thoughts by hand and share with them how you are there for them on this journey of life that often is unfair, difficult and mixed-up.  We want to believe we have a cheer-leading section but reading it first hand is so much more meaningful. Nothing says “I care about you” – more than those words written in a note.

This does not have to be an “expensive” endeavor – you can find inexpensive stationery at Target or Wal-Mart.  You can also order personalized fun stationery at sites like Expressionery, or Scribbles-n-Such which has tons of $5 items.

I keep at least one note or card either in my purse or in my car so when I find I have a couple of minutes while waiting at the Dr. or to pick up my kids I can write a note.

Put on your thoughtful shoes and make a point to send 11 cards or notes this year…one per month  for the rest of 2010.  Make someones day a little more special.

RSS Changes Everything

What if you could tell a website to let you know every time that they update? In a sense, this is what RSS does for you.

RSS stands for ‘Really Simple Syndication’. Many people describe it as a ‘news feed’ that you subscribe to.

RSS provides you with a method of getting relevant and up to date information sent to you for you to read in your own time. It saves you time and helps you to get the information you want quickly after it was published.

I find the ’subscription’ description helpful. It’s like subscribing to a magazine that is delivered to you periodically but instead of it coming in your physical mail box each month when the magazine is published it is delivered to your ‘RSS Reader’ every time your favorite website updates.

How RSS actually technically works is probably a lesson for another day but the key today is for you to understand why it’s good and how to use it.

Let me say right up front that I’m not the most technically savvy person around – but even I can use RSS. At first I found it a little strange to make the change from bookmarking and subscribing in e-mail to RSS but I found that when I started I just couldn’t stop.

Why use RSS?

RSS brings information from multiple Web  sites to a single page (the reader). Thus visitors do not have to take the time to visit each of their favorite sites individually and search for the latest content. The reader knows when new content has been published and brings it to one place.

Visitors can also preserve their privacy and reduce their email load by subscribing to the feed rather than subscribing to e-mail updates.
There are a wide variety of RSS readers to choose from on the Internet; some of the most popular are available from Google, Yahoo, Newsgator and Bloglines.

So What Next?

Get an RSS Reader – The first thing you’ll want to do if you’re getting into reading sites via RSS is to hook yourself up with an RSS Feed Reader.

There are many feed readers with a variety of approaches and features – however a good place to start is with a couple of free and easy to use web based ones like Google Reader or Bloglines. Either one will do if you’re starting out (I use Google Reader).  There are many others to choose from but to get started either of these are fairly easy to use and will help you work out the basics of RSS.

Both of these feed readers work a little like email. As you subscribe to feeds you’ll see that any unread entries from the sites you’re tracking will be marked as bold. As you click on them you’ll see the latest update and can read it right there in the feed reader. You are given the option to click through to the actual site or move onto the next unread item – marking the last one as ‘read’.

The best way to learn how to use either Google Reader or Bloglines is to simply subscribe to some feeds and give it a go. Why not start with this site Click on the orange button in the “Get your shoe fix” section and get started.

You can get great info from the “help” sections of these readers if you get lost.

You may be familiar with other options to tracking websites include using pages like MyYahoo, iGoogle and MyMSN.  I use iGoogle as my homepage.  Many of the sites I subscribe to in RSS show up on my home page.  It looks like this.

That way when I get online I can see if there is new content.  I can choose to click on it right then or wait until I have more time. My igoogle page can be customized beyond words with gadgets, widgets and all sorts of stuff. I love it and it keeps my e-mail less full which in turn makes me a happy camper.

So if you have never tried RSS give it a shot.  Find a few sites to subscribe to (including this one please) and let me know what you think!

To make it easy you can click here to subscribe in RSS if you like~

So now maybe you know a little bit more about RSS and perhaps you will  pass this post on for others to easily subscribe thereby growing the readership here at the SBD (wink, wink).  My goal after all is to reach as many people as I can and you can help me with that task.

Thanks for reading and sharing.

This is one of my favorite topics when it comes to needing a pick-me up.  When you want to make small changes in your life consider your “ING” shoes.  Yes, it implies action but not always in the form of exercise.  I, of course believe that movement is key both for your body and mind.  If you recall, keeping your passion and interest shoes close in your life is a very important means to helping you retain who you are especially amidst chaos of life.

Do you have enough “ING” in your life?  Do your “ING” shoes get shoved way back in the closet of life?  My first grader is learning about what happens to a word when “ING” is added.  In a very basic, non-gramatical sense, adding “ing” implies action.  So we will pretend we are a bunch of first graders wanting to make as many “ing” words and put them into action in our life. Bottom line, action breeds good feelings, accomplishment, enjoyment, self-confidence and desire.

All of which are good and necessary  during challenging times.  So if you are struggling with something that you can’t change immediately consider what you are doING about it.  I have come to learn that I am not able to change certain situations in life but my response and perspective about them helps keep me in a positive place.  I find perspective by thinkING about things I am blessed with, about things I am thankful for and about others who have a much worse struggle in life compared to mine.  MakING that mental effort goes a long way.

Perspective probably won’t be enough to sustain you through the everyday stresses of life and certainly not the big whammy stress when it hits. When you add more “ING” to life you find peace, strength and comfort.  Three things that are a slam dunk to staying near a more positive coping mechanism instead of the unhealthy. Here are some ideas to get you back into your “ING” shoes.  Remember whatever you do make sure it makes YOU feel vital, dynamic and victorious~ These are suppose to be for you not for others (which can be a tough battle internally).

Praying

Biking

Cooking

Running

Smiling

Dancing

Shopping

Singing

Reading

Sharing

Writing

Swimming

Hugging

Hiking

Snuggling

Painting

Traveling

Soon you won’t want to take off your  ”ING” shoes.  Which means you are livING instead of letting life pass you by!

I love to hear what “ING” you plan to do more of!

Did you enjoy this article?  Feel free to share it and encourage your friends and family to subscribe to The Shoe Box Daily! It is all about sharING.

I have added this post to Your Life Your Blog!

Port-au-Prince, Haiti (CNN) — Haiti’s capital awoke to increasing desperation Thursday morning, a day and a half after a devastating earthquake, with covered bodies piling up along streets and modern aspects of life, such as electricity, mostly missing.

The streets of Port-au-Prince resembled grainy black-and-white newsreels from World War II that showed the rubble of bombed-out houses in Berlin and London. The devastation was wide and often horrific.

Flattened and severely damaged houses were found on every block, and the streets were choked with pedestrians and residents. They set up overnight camps and slept by the thousands in dark and crowded parks and on sidewalks, for fear of being inside if another powerful quake hit.
Numerous aftershocks have rattled the capital.

The photos and video are down right devastating.  It breaks my heart to see a country suffer like this.  If you are anything like me you might have a fleeting thought about wishing you could “do something”.  You may feel helpless or think that your contribution would not make an impact.

Who can you trust?  There are already rumors about Haiti scams.  The FBI says in its advisory.”Make contributions directly to known organizations rather than relying on others to make the donation on your behalf to ensure contributions are received and used for intended purposes.”

It is so sad that people would take advantage of an emotionally charged world right now and try to take money that was donated to help the people of Haiti.

If want to help consider making a donation to Compassion. I trust them.  I have blogger friends who sponsor Compassion Children and have come to know this organization a bit over the past few months.

Compassion International exists as a Christian child advocacy ministry that releases children from spiritual, economic, social and physical poverty and enables them to become responsible, fulfilled Christian adults.

Founded by the Rev. Everett Swanson in 1952, Compassion began providing Korean War orphans with food, shelter, education and health care, as well as Christian training.

Today, Compassion helps more than 1 million children in 25 countries.

Compassion’s work in Haiti began in 1968. Currently, more than 62,900 children participate in more than 225 child development centers. Compassion partners with churches to help them provide Haitian children with the opportunity to rise above their circumstances and become all God has created them to be.

If you can, consider making a donation to Compassion and helping those in dire need.  Every little bit helps.  Don’t do it because “everyone” else is on the let’s help Haiti wagon, do it because YOU want to.

If you decide to donate you are wearing your compassion shoes and  they will probably bring you peace and a little bit of satisfaction.  Doing good for others is a very important piece of  your “shoe story.”

Haiti Earthquate

My very closest friends are smiling right now as they know how I feel about “the good news”

Have you ever being telling someone about an unfortunate situation in your life and their response is “well the good news is __________________.”

MOST days I am all for the good news…and I often can find it myself .  If I did not have the capability to see the silver lining in a situation let’s face it I would be in some sort of 12 step program hiding under my covers all day long.

I am the QUEEN of perspective which is what the “good news” really is – a perspective about how your situation could be worse.

If you are a “giver of the good news”  and yes I am one of THOSE people…it can be an endearing but also annoying quality.   You probably have the ability to see a situation for what it is and can offer your friends in need a good dose of perspective.

Be mindful.  Sometimes people (women) especially want to just vent and have a sympathetic friend say

“yes that stinks, I’m sorry” or “I hate that you are dealing with this, what I can do to help?”

They don’t need you to solve their problem or one up them with “well at least ______ didn’t happen like it did to me.”

Just so we are clear, there are times when I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE GOOD NEWS.

I just want to complain share my stress or drama with someone else.  I want to cry, be sad, be angry or hurt.

Most of what I am dealing with (an amazing child with cancer, financial stress, a husband that travels A LOT, the loss of my mother, the lack of local family support etc) are not things anyone can fix.  Heck I can’t fix them – I can only learn to walk in the shoes of my life.

I may just need to “untie” my shoes for a bit.  Allow that of your friends who are struggling.  Give them time to vent and unload a bit without offering up “the good news” all the time.  You will be a much better friend if you do this for them, believe me!

There are those times when people who have VERY few coping skills and (to stick with the shoe metaphor) can’t walk in any shoe that doesn’t fit perfectly are complaining about downright ridiculous things. They may just need a little bit of “the good news” to help keep their perspective in check.  A fine line to walk my friends but a necessary one.

You can toss a little “good news” their way in a manner that does not make them feel like their problem is not valid but gently nudges them back to a reality that life; in general is good.  Most of us are very fortunate and have been blessed many times over.

Learning when to support a friend who is struggling is a ever changing task.  Knowing when to keep quiet and when to offer advice or good news is something that we all probably need to work on.  Just realizing that you can just listen and not have to fix someones situation is a very valuable trait.

Next time a friend tells you about their struggle think before you speak.  Make sure that you are being the type of listener they need at that moment.  Helping friends see perspective and good things in life is such an important concept but being sympathetic is equally important.  It is all about balance!  Seek that friendship balance.  It will be a win/win in life.

A new year means so many different things to each of us.  I am not a big resolution maker.  I prefer to set goals instead.  This New Year’s Eve I focused on these three words: resolve, remember and rejoice.

RESOLVE

Resolve something in your life – reach a conclusion, make a decision or settle a dispute.  Are there things in your life you could resolve? Decisions you could make to allow you to move on?  Disputes that need to be resolved?  If so, don’t wait – use the opportunity of a new year and a clean slate.

REMEMBER

Remember the good times.  Memories are made nearly every day and so often we get caught up in day to day stresses that we forget to savor individual moments.  Reflect on 2009 and find the things you want to remember.  Write them down in a journal or scrapbook.   A new year does not always mean a better year.  Perhaps 2009 was an amazing year for you.  Make sure to remember all the blessing and greatness in your life.

REJOICE

Rejoice for you have a brand new year ahead.  You can use it as an opportunity to achieve goals.   Celebrate the opportunity of a fresh start.  Set goals or make resolutions if you like but savor the chance to make adjustments in your life.  Although change can be made at any time, January 1st seems to bring about an energy to help motivate and inspire us.

I wish you a healthy, happy and prosperous 2010.  I look forward to growing my readership and doing amazing things this year at The Shoe Box Daily!