Along my journey of life I have been presented with numerous perspective “checks”.  Many of them I share in my book (won’t you consider ordering a copy?)

Today I woke up, facing another day of job searching for my husband and I, another day of laundry, another day of children who are not feeling well.  Chores, a few errands if I can manage them. A day filled with a lot of “nothing”.  I am not going to the gym, don’t have any plans other than the grocery store.  In a word it was kind of a bleak outlook.  When I woke up, I actually thought to myself geez it has been a long time since I have had much to look forward to or get excited about.

Sometimes as a stay-at-home mom it can be a little like groundhog day – you know the same thing over and over and over again.  A blessing for sure, to be at home with my kids but I have to work at keeping things interesting.

I woke my son for school, made his lunch and then  I sat down at my computer to check some e-mail.  There were to updates from families of children with cancer.  I always make time to read Caringbridge updates and show my support.  It is one of the things I mentioned here that really helped us during our journey.

The first update was from a little boy who has had the worst 6 months in history.  He is being treated for Leukemia but can’t stay in remission, has had EVERY side effect and more from all the medications, tons of infections, chronic nausea and vomiting.  A true uphill battle each day.  They are trying to make it to bone marrow transplant in May.  My heart was heavy after reading his mom’s update.  I feel very helpless yet so grateful that our journey has ended.

The second update said this “As most of you already know…Our sweet baby girl  went to HEAVEN yesterday evening at 6:35.”

I can’t even begin to say anything to this family – I can’t wrap my head around what it would be like to loose a child, even after all we went through with Mason.

In times like this, when my life feels a bit “stressed” I am thankful that I can readjust my compass, find perspective and realize the simple blessings in my life.  I feel stronger, like I can overcome this “molehill” in our life.

I hope just reading about these two families will give you a bit a perspective as well.

This post is linked to Steady Mom’s 30 min blog challenge~

It is hard to find anyone who has not been touched by cancer in one way or another.  I have lost my mother to breast cancer and have been on a 5 year journey with my son who has Leukemia.  I have learned a few things along the way about how to help a friend or family member who has cancer.

27 WAYS YOU CAN HELP

1. Be there for them (on the phone, in person, in e-mail)

2. Encourage them to set up a Caringbridge site to communicate information to the masses (it is easy and free)

3. Sign the guest book on Caringbridge every time you read it.  Your support and notes matter

4. Set up a meal/helper/driver/child care calendar at CareCalendar

5. Send a hand written note (even if you are local)  The endless stream of medical bills  and statements in the mailbox gets old quickly

6. When you make a meal that you can freeze make an extra one and drop it off.

7. If you say “I am praying for you” then do it – frequently

8. Pick-up a gift card or two for them (restaurants near their treatment facility, gas cards, pharmacy (Walgreens, Target, Wal-Mart), grocery stores.

9. Mow their lawn, shovel their snow and don’t tell them you did so

10. When you talk to them don’t always talk about cancer.

11. Encourage them to set up a donation account at a local bank where people who want to give them money can do so.

12. Visit them – hospitals and clinics are lonely places

13. Drop off magazines or books

14. Call and check in (believe me after a few months their phone is not ringing off the hook and you won’t be a bother)

15.  Don’t forget about spouses/parents and children,  cancer affects the entire family

16. Provide childcare as often as you can

17. Arrange to bring someone to them for haircuts, pedicures, manicures etc. Caregivers and patients need to be pampered now and again

18. Allow them to “vent” and simply say “This sucks and I am sorry” – no need to give them the “good news” all the time

19. Cry with them and for them.  Cancer is devastating and sad but after the “cry” be strong and supportive

20. Buy them a cute hat or scarf (for the ladies)

21. Get involved in a cause and help raise money and awareness on their behalf

22. If you don’t know what to say – say so; don’t say something stupid and insensitive instead of being silent

23. Hire someone to clean their house

24.  Make them a CD or play-list of great upbeat music

25. Don’t assume that because they say the don’t need anything that they really “don’t need anything“.  Be creative, people suck at asking for help.

26. Be mindful that cancer is often a life-long and life changing event.  Long after the treatment is done the side effects and financial repercussions are still very real.

27. Bring your sense of humor, laughter is after all some of the best medicine.

It is sometimes hard to support a friend or family member but doing some of the things on this list will really help them out.  Cancer can be a very long trying journey but with the support of caring people it is manageable. So put on your “supportive” shoes and reach out!

My sweet boy:

You have rosy bright red cheeks, you have not eaten all day, you have a high fever and just want to sleep but you can’t because your cough is driving you crazy.  You take a bath at noon hoping that might help your aches and pains.  You try to sleep but can’t get comfy.  You are frustrated and irritable.  We pack up and head to Children’s Hospital because the rule is, a oncology child with a fever must be seen. That makes you even more irritable.  The last thing you we want to do is drive to the hospital and be poked and paraded.

A chest x-ray, exam from at least 3 doctors, a nasal wash(one of the worst procedures ever), IV fluids, oxygen a pneumonia diagnosis, and admit to the 9th floor. This was not how tonight was supposed to go.

Tonight you were supposed to be home with a babysitter having fun and eating pizza. You were supposed to be playing hide and go seek and eating junk food.  I was supposed to be at a the Avalanche game with Daddy and some friends.  I realize the best place for you is here at the hospital.   I realize there will be other Avalanche games to see and friends to visit with. I also realize that this treatment journey we have been on for 5 years is nearly  finished.

I wonder, is that why it seems so much harder to be here?  Is it because we are already “ready” to be free from chemo, fevers and hospitals. We have done our time and paid our dues and spent over 100 nights here at Children’s.  Well apparently we are not quite done.  We do not have any control over this illness but we do try and make the best of it.  It doesn’t make it any easier or any more fun.

Sitting here listening to the oxygen blowing into your nose and the dripping of the humidifier water, the beeping from the nurses desk and the low whine of the IV fluid pump somehow makes me feel comforted.  I feel secure knowing you are getting good care and that we can do this.  We have done it before and we may have to do it again before we are all done.  You are absolutely by far the strongest person I know.  I draw from your courage and am so proud of how you handle all the unfairness of your life.

So I guess this IS how it was supposed to go.  I might as well embrace it because it is our life, it is far from perfect but,there are so many perfect things about it.

Love,

A new year means so many different things to each of us.  I am not a big resolution maker.  I prefer to set goals instead.  This New Year’s Eve I focused on these three words: resolve, remember and rejoice.

RESOLVE

Resolve something in your life – reach a conclusion, make a decision or settle a dispute.  Are there things in your life you could resolve? Decisions you could make to allow you to move on?  Disputes that need to be resolved?  If so, don’t wait – use the opportunity of a new year and a clean slate.

REMEMBER

Remember the good times.  Memories are made nearly every day and so often we get caught up in day to day stresses that we forget to savor individual moments.  Reflect on 2009 and find the things you want to remember.  Write them down in a journal or scrapbook.   A new year does not always mean a better year.  Perhaps 2009 was an amazing year for you.  Make sure to remember all the blessing and greatness in your life.

REJOICE

Rejoice for you have a brand new year ahead.  You can use it as an opportunity to achieve goals.   Celebrate the opportunity of a fresh start.  Set goals or make resolutions if you like but savor the chance to make adjustments in your life.  Although change can be made at any time, January 1st seems to bring about an energy to help motivate and inspire us.

I wish you a healthy, happy and prosperous 2010.  I look forward to growing my readership and doing amazing things this year at The Shoe Box Daily!

Yesterday I was THAT mom.  I am not sorry about it either.  I can own that I have a bit of  crazy in me when it comes to certain things. One of which is SLEEP.  I pride myself in all three of my kids being excellent sleepers.  The ONLY time any of them are up at night is if they are throwing up sick.  So 99% of nights I put them to bed and don’t hear from them again until 7 am.  Yes, I am lucky but I also spent lots of time teaching them to sleep and I make sleep habits and routines a priority.

Yesterday morning that perfect little sleep world of my was at risk of being interrupted… Picture this~

Monk (7 yo) says: “Mom, where did “Doo” (my 2 year old) sleep last night?”

Me: “In his crib, why?”

Monk: “Well he is coming down the stairs right now”

Doo: “Morning Mommy”

He had proudly escaped the crib  so looked adorable walking down the stairs to greet us.  After breakfast I put him in his crib to see how he was making his magic.  He climbed right out, climbed back in and back out again with a huge smile on his face.  As if to say “this is too easy, why didn’t I  try months ago!”

What I thought was so cute earlier now has the potential to mess with my sleep and my somewhat peaceful evenings.

I did not have time to make a plan because Monk had a clinic appointment at Children’s Hospital.  Doo and his antics would have to wait.

I knew when we arrived home after 2 pm and my two year old little devil angel was still up running around that he would not stay in his crib for our sitter therefore had not taken a nap.

I needed a plan. I was not ready to fight the bed battle at age 2.  I know it works for some but I firmly believe the longer they stay in their crib the better sleep habits they establish.

I hopped on Google University only to find that one can no longer purchase a crib tent in stores like I could a few years ago when “the girl” was escaping her crib. Ordering online looked to be my only option.

My heart starts racing a bit. Umm waiting days for a tent is really not in the cards and overnight shipping was a joke! I don’t want him to think that HE gets to decide if he naps and I don’t have the patience to play games at bedtime. (remember I said I am a little bit crazy)

In the back of my mind I thought “maybe he won’t get out of bed if he is tired enough”

Who was I kidding?  This kid is as stubborn as they come – “spirited” is the word the pediatrician used.

So I went to my old stand-by by in a pinch website – Craigslist. I searched crib tent and two came up – one was new and the other used.  I e-mailed both people and waited anxiously for a response.  After about an hour I got news of a crib tent being available and I could go and get it right away.  Yippe!!

The downfall – it was a 50 min drive one way.  I did not think twice about it.  I loaded the kids up and off we went – to reclaim my parental sanity.

He slept fine last night and is napping peacefully right now!!

Truth be told I might have driven longer and paid more!

This post is part of the carnival at Your Life Your Blog~

Have you ever done something crazy to save your sanity? Please share.

On this Eve of Christmas Eve I was inspired to put a question out on Facebook.  I wondered if Santa “wraps” gifts at your house.  I encouraged my friends to put on their “sharing shoes” and tell about their traditions on Christmas morning.  I got nearly 20 responses all of them unique and full of energy.  I could tell in their writing “voices” that people were passionate about their traditions and proud to share them.

Each of us probably has traditions that we grew up with and as we came into adulthood, married and started families we adopted new ones and most likely kept some of our special childhood rituals.

Tradition is defined as:

1.	the handing down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs, information, etc., from generation to generation, esp. by word of mouth or by practice

2.	something that is handed down

3.	a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting

4.	a continuing pattern of culture beliefs or practices.

5.	a customary or characteristic method or manner

*Source Dictionary.com

Having long standing family traditions is important and very much keeps families connected; often to those who are no longer with us. In an effort to keep the memory of my mom alive a bit I have adopted things that she once did not realizing all the little traditions our family had.

For example, she used to purchase a dated Christmas ornament each year for my brother and I.  When my kids were born she purchased one for them too.  She loved picking out something unique to that year and to them.  When I got married she gave me the majority of “my” ornaments to help start our collection.  Now that she is gone I have most of her ornaments as well and I have taken to purchasing an ornament for my kids each year.

Even though it seems that traditions are “handed down” and long standing as the definition states it is never too late to start new traditions for your family.  Each year I try and add a little something to our traditions.  It could be birthday related, Mother’s or Father’s Day, or any of the holidays we celebrate.  Sometimes I like what I have added or changed and so I “adopt” it into our ritual.  Other times I don’t and so it was a one “hit” wonder per say.   It can’t hurt to try new ways of doing things and creating special memories for our kids along the way.

Usually I wrap everything a week or so before Christmas and fill up the tree.  I love to see the gifts stacked up and watch the kids as they wonder “what is in THAT big one”.   This year due to my adorable, loving, curious, big eyed two year old son I have been forced to keep all presents wrapped in a tub in our basement.  Tonight I was thinking about how fun it will be to bring them all out tomorrow night and see the kids reaction when they come down the stairs Christmas morning to a tree full of love.

I told my husband I may make this a new tradition – not put anything under the tree until Christmas morning.

It is exciting to add traditions to your family.  Keep things “fresh” and new but still include your heritage and favorite family rituals. Doing things just because that is “the way we have always done it” can get repetitious.  Don’t be afraid to try new ideas and see if you can find unique traditions to add to your family history.

I would love to hear about  your favorite “new”  family tradition.

Mine started 8 years ago.  I host a brunch Christmas Eve morning for our friends and neighbors.  Breakfast is my favorite meal and generally people are not doing much the morning of Christmas Eve so it works. So now you know….I should be getting ready for my brunch but I have had traditions on the brain today and wanted to take time to share.

From my family to yours – have a very  Merry Christmas.

Enjoy one another, hug your kids tight and say a prayer for all those who are less fortunate, fighting illness and for those who can’t be with family this year.

I have spent quite a bit of time wearing my “thinking” shoes lately.  I am pondering things that inspire me and some of the things I am passionate about.   Knowing what types of things really get you excited and making those part of your life as often as possible is very important in having a balanced life.  Focusing on adding passion to the shoes you wear everyday is something I aspire to do.

I have a passion for photography.  I love to take pictures and I am an avid scrapbooker.  One day I would like to take some classes and really learn about this amazing digital SLR camera I am carrying around.  I am finding that with 3 kids (one of them battling cancer), the launch of my new business along with all the little day to day things; I am not able to make scrap-booking a priority.

I am exactly one year behind in my albums.

I realize there are millions of people who don’t have anything documented in scrapbooks but for me being a year behind is a big deal.  I also know the majority of people think they can’t scrapbook.  They don’t have time, creativity or the money for it.  For those of you out there like that I would love for you to join me on the journey of “365 days of photographs“.

I am taking one photo every day for 365 days.  I will then put them into a simple album on Shutterfly. No words, just a book of 365 photos.  A year in pictures.  Simple, fun to look at and an excellent way to capture your life without all the scrapbooking tools, and time. I have created a folder in iphoto called “365 days” and each time I transfer my pictures I add one per day to the folder.  Then I will upload them to Shutterfly.  They even have an “auto-fill” option for the album which makes creating the album so simple and easy.

Since starting this project 2 weeks ago I am already more aware of my surroundings, landscape and the facial expressions of my family.  I imagine I will begin to see things from a different angle.  I vow to not only take photos of my kids or even of people for that matter.  There is so much about our surroundings and life that can be documented in a photograph.  I am 14 days into my journey.  Won’t you consider joining me?

I will periodically post some of my favorites along the way and I would love for you to e-mail your favorite photos.  You can send them to catherineb@theshoeboxdaily.com.

Say cheese!!

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This post is part of the 30 minute blog challenge at Steady Mom~

Post time: 28 minutes

This Mental Music Monday may make you sad – it should make you think and I hope it makes you realize how very good you have it.

There are people fighting for their lives right now.  There are people who will “meet Jesus” this week.  People will lose a mother, sister, wife, husband, child, aunt, uncle, cousin and friend.  Rejoice if you are not in that situation and remember there are people who are.  Be sensitive to those around you as they are probably struggling with some aspect of their life.  While it may not be death or illness it is still a challenging time of year that brings out lots of raw emotions.

Christmas comes every year even if we are  not ready, even if we are not in the Christmas “spirit”, and even if we don’t have extra money to give gifts.  Christmas is a time to celebrate the birth of Christ.  It is a time to be with family, to show our love for one another and to reflect on the past year.  When you put on your “Christmas Shoes” remember the blessings the Lord has given you and reflect on the challenges you have overcome.

Everyone’s “Christmas shoes” look different, unique and individual.  Wear them proudly this week.  If you are struggling try and find a bit of “happiness” just like the little boy in the song does.  He is so excited that his mom will get to wear new shoes when she meets Jesus.  That certainly makes you stop and think.

Happy Mental Music Monday.

May your family have a blessed week.

Have you seen the movie Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?  What is it with those pants?  Power to the pants.  It was a cute movie and all about how the pants brought friends together and helped them through hard times.  Everyone had a story about the pants.

While brainstorming tonight with a good friend we got really excited about my new “brand”.  I once heard a poem about walking in the shoes of a cancer mom.   That poem stuck with me but my spin is about all the different shoes we wear.  Sometimes I hear about people’s struggles and I think what it must be like to walk in their shoes. I think about how our shoes can help us relate and cope with our life.  Sometimes our shoes are our choice; other times we don’t get to choose the shoes we wear.  Our “shoe status” per say.

I love this idea and have thought about a million concepts to make this come alive.  I am so excited to tie in one of my favorite things with my blog and speaking business I can hardly stand it.  So for now I encourage you to check in on facebook and twitter and to subscribe to the site either by e-amil or RSS for my daily “shoe status” and I of course want to know yours too!