“We all need new shoes” I tell my husband…correction.  I want my kids to have a pair of new shoes for school.  Oh the whole want verses need argument that I have over and over in my head.

Do the kids get everything they want?  Nope.

Do I get everything I want in life? Nope.

Are we hurting for the things we need?  Nope.

Do we have excess in luxuries?  Yes.

Does realizing how blessed we are count for something?  Maybe

Balancing the want with the need is something I struggle with all the time.  I have learned over the past few years how very little in the way of “items” one needs to survive on this earth.  I have cut back on frivolous spending and ask myself “do I really need this ______?”.  If I keep going back to it time and again then I must either need it or WANT it really, really badly.

I tell my groups I speak to that even something as small as a new pair of shoes can change your whole outlook – not only just for the “fashion” but also your confidence and desire to “get up and go”.    Around here new shoes for school are just part of the process of getting excited about school and feeling confident that first day.

So we ended up with new shoes for the kids but I decided to put my new shoes back on the shelf to be purchased “at a later date” – teaching my kids and myself a bit about the waiting game.  To reinforce the “waiting” I also told the kids they can’t wear their shoes until school starts…wow mean mom eh?

So they anxiously wait to put on those new shoes and carry their new backpacks with colorful school supplies.

Bottom line is I LOVE a new pair of shoes for what it brings to your life.  Keeping the new shoes to special occasions is the hard part but I am working on it!

Photo By: Wesley

Honestly I can’t think of a better time of year – SUMMER.

In particular for me it is the beautiful summer evenings that Colorado so often hands our residents.  It is a hot day, the clouds move in and we get a short but cooling rain shower.  Then like magic, the skies clear and it is a calm beautiful summer evening.  I love it.  My favorite things to do during summer evenings are -

• Sit on my patio or deck and read a book
• Go for a run
• Sip a cold beer or margarita with neighbors
• Bring my laptop outside and do some catch-up work
• Listen to my ipod and just take in the summer air

I find the coin phrase “lazy days of summer” to be a funny term.  So often we plan to slow down and relax during the summer break but how many of you actually DO it?  I am making a concerted  effort to relax more, sit more, and enjoy the time my kids have off from school.  Notice I said I am making an effort.  Generally relaxing and taking it easy is something you have to force yourself to do.  It doesn’t come naturally (at least for me).

I encourage you to enjoy your summer days (and nights).  It is such a fun time of year – flip flops, tank tops, pool time, more time and activities outside, grilling, picnics, vacations and family reunions.

I hope you are having a wonderful summer!  Get out and enjoy those summer nights!!!

Summer Nights

Happy Memorial Day!

What a great day to take time to remember those who have so selflessly served our country.  Many are serving right now – many have been gone from their families for months or sadly years.  Every day men and women are losing their lives so we can be free.  Politics aside, these people are heroes who deserve to be recognized.

Please take time today to thank those you know who have served in our military.  My dad was in the Air Force for 38 years.  He had an amazing career and I am so proud of his dedication to our country.

I hope you have some fun plans with family or friends to enjoy the day off!   This song is a favorite of mine and when I think about the military it depicts aspects well.  Enjoy~

Letters from Home

I am smiling inside as I watch my husband take over the stay at home duties in our household.  Three weeks ago I got a job.  He is amidst the job searching world but in the mean time is staying at home and taking care of the kids and the house.   If you recall, we have three kids ages 7, 5 and 2.  For the past 18 months my husband had been traveling Sunday thru Thursday so his time at home was very limited.

He has done an amazing job.  He has had laundry adventures, shopping challenges and “cleaning” experiences that we never planned on him having.  On day five of his new role he announced “the stay at home parent gets NO respect.” Can I get a AMEN!!!!  He said ” I cleaned our closet and picked up the whole house and she did not even say anything”

Then he started thinking about all the times I cleaned or took on a project at home and he never said anything about it.  A thankless and never ending job indeed.

This is a short term “job” for him but certainly has opened his eyes to the job of a stay at home parent which is a huge blessing.   My new job will allow flexibility and I will be working for home.  It is just what we need to help get us back on our feet after Mason’s treatment and the past few years of struggling business.

I love my new working shoes and I love the perspective the role reversal has brought to our family! I know that on numerous occasions I chatted with friends about how impossible it is for men to relate to the challenges and downright exhausting role of staying at home and how I wished somehow, for just a short time he could have that experience.  It sure has been eye opening for both of us.

I hope you have an amazing holiday weekend with family and friends and remember, you never know what life is like for someone else unless you walk IN their shoes.

Being a friend to someone is easy but being a good friend or even a best friend takes effort and thoughtfulness.  I have a few friends (myself included) who are going through challenging times.  Here are a few things you can do to help a friend when she is wearing shoes she did not choose or ones that she does not like.

1. Be a good listener. This is not about YOU.  Even if you went through something similar or can relate on some level it is still not about you.  Listen to your friend.  Infer things from what she is saying.  Ask questions.  Repeat things she says so she knows you are paying attention.  Being a good listener takes practice and intention.

2. “Don’t judge the shoes” I have learned that I really can’t say for certain what I would do if I was in someone else’s situation.  I may think I would “make different choices” but you can’t say for sure until YOU are presented with the challenge.  Don’t judge your friends.  Allow them to make their own decisions and support them – even if you think you would not make the same decision.

3. Spend time together -  I have a tough time with this one.  Our lives get busy and crazy and all of the sudden it has been weeks or even months since we have spent time with our friends.  Sound familiar?  Carving out time to see friends is one of the best “medicines”.

4. Send a note or card.  I wrote about the importance of a handwritten card here.  I believe it to be a very thoughtful and personal way to show someone you are thinking of them.  Hallmark is still a booming business – they have cards for any and all occasions!

5. Offer to help. It took me many years to accept help from other people so this one doesn’t happen over night.  You have to offer to help, and offer to help, and offer to help.  Over and over and over again.  You may get turned down but eventually your friend will take you up on your offer and it will feel great.  If it is an illness they are dealing with check out my 27 ways to help post for more ideas on how to help friends.

Friends are so important in life.  They provide and extension of our families, love us when we are wrong, and are there for us in the peaks and valleys of life.  Reach out to your friends if they are struggling.  Just because you may not have been through what they are dealing with does not mean you can’t be a good friend to them.

This weekend Mothers everywhere will be celebrating.  If you are a mom, have a mom, have someone in your life “like” a mom you should honor that person.  It is a day to recognize all the sacrifices and dedication of moms around the world.  A day to show your appreciation and your love for that special mom.

There is nothing more amazing than becoming a mom.  I remember when my oldest first said “mama”.  I thought I could never get sick of hearing that word.  (admittedly, there are days now when I think I may loose my mind if I hear someone say “Mooooooomm” again.)

Being a mom is magical, demanding, exhilarating and exhausting. You can’t truly appreciate Mother’s Day until you are a mom.  I know most of us would not trade it for the world. I have vivid memories of Mother’s Day growing up. Join me over at Steady Day’s to read about “the perfect Mother’s Day”

Each year for the past 4 years, I have struggled on Mother’s Day.  Celebrating being a mom but missing my mom so much it hurts to the core.  I always cry.  It is hard for my kids to understand because they are busy trying to make my day special.  Some say “it gets easier as time goes on” - I disagree.

I think the longer it has been since you have lost a loved one the more difficult it is because your life has moved on, you realize you will never get to share things with that person.  You miss of them at a much deeper level.  You find a way to go on but it certainly is not easy.

On Mother’s Day, I seek balance.  I reflect on my mom and all the amazing things she taught me.  I try and celebrate with my kids and dig deep to be happy, not sad.  Being a mom is a privilege that should never be taken for granted.  Life is short, for some, it is way too short.  I take each Mother’s Day as a gift for you never know what is around the corner in life.

How will you be celebrating this special weekend?

I am not programmed that way – I am not sure that it is a programming error as much as a fear of the wilder side of life.

Music helps, alcohol helps (although I rarely drink…I just can’t justify the calories or the after effects, what, with 3 kids can you blame me?)

I just need to get out more, see friends more, go on dates with my husband more.  I am looking forward to that option in the very near future.

As I was watching American Idol a few weeks ago I remembered how much I loved this song.

It just makes you want to sit on a patio with friends and talk about life.

As the summer months approach I hope to be doing more of that type of thing!

Hope you have a great week and don’t pass up the opportunity to put “your records on…play your favorite song…and let your hair down”.

Happy Mental Music Monday

I got dressed up today and I wore heels.  I use the term heels loosely.  They did not look like this or these but they were a far cry from my tennis shoes or flip flops I normally sport.  What on earth was the occasion you ask?

I had a job interview which sadly never ended up happening due to a conflict in the term “flexible hours”.   Flexible to them meant 9 – 1 or 10 -2 M-F.  Flexible to me meant something a bit different.  Anyway I got all dressed up and was heading out the door when I got the e-mail about the specific hours they wanted someone so I decided this job was not for me.

Then I started going about my day – vacuuming the kitchen floor, folding  laundry, getting my daughter ready for kindergarten.  I did this in my grown-up clothes which was kind of fun. While hustling about the kitchen I noted how assertive my heels sounded on the tile floor.  It really sounds like I was on a mission – a very important mission.  The click, clop of my heels brought me back to a day when I was working full time.  I dressed up a lot and wore “heels”.   It reminded me of Mason’s oncologist who we always knew was coming down the hallway because we could hear her shoes long before her knock at our door.

There is something about dressier shoes (which generally means dressier clothes) that makes a person feel motivated, empowered, and sophisticated. For those of you wear heels (or the equivalent) every day you are probably not as enthusiastic about the idea but for me it was a welcome change of pace.

It only lasted about 4 hours…my poor non-conditioned feet were aching a bit.  Plus housework in dress clothes is awkward…June Cleaver may have been able to pull it off but I was lacking the pearls (oh and the apron).

It was a nice reminder about how changing your shoes can change your attitude and perspective – even if only temporarily.

Do you have a pair of shoes you miss wearing?  If so, tell me about them and better yet, create an occasion to wear them!

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This post is linked to Works for Me Wednesday at We Are THAT Family.

For some reason lately I have been thinking about how “old” young we are.  ”We” meaning my peer group of friends and those I keep up with on Facebook. In my head everyone over 30 is in my peer group (no offense). Some of you who are older than  me may appreciate that peer group reference.

One of my friends told me in 6 years her husband can retire from the Air Force because he had his 20 years in.  WHAT – no way, that doesn’t seem possible. We are not old enough to have been out of college for that many years.  I started thinking about why I don’t feel “old”.  I have asked a few people recently if they think “we” are old.  The response is always the same.  No one feels old or thinks they are old.  Are we in denial?  Perhaps a bit but I do know that everyone is doing things at an older age compared to years ago so maybe that has a lot to do with it.

When I think about aging what I really think about is staying young and more importantly feeling young.  It is a mentality after all.  Most of what we feel comes from our thoughts.  I believe that if you make choices to stay active not only physically but mentally you can be forever young.  Stay current in the news, in the trends and in activities and you can’t go wrong.

May you be forever young!

This song is an old favorite and I just remembered it due to my new love for the show Parenthood on NBC.  This is the theme song!  Enjoy~

Forever Young