“We all need new shoes” I tell my husband…correction.  I want my kids to have a pair of new shoes for school.  Oh the whole want verses need argument that I have over and over in my head.

Do the kids get everything they want?  Nope.

Do I get everything I want in life? Nope.

Are we hurting for the things we need?  Nope.

Do we have excess in luxuries?  Yes.

Does realizing how blessed we are count for something?  Maybe

Balancing the want with the need is something I struggle with all the time.  I have learned over the past few years how very little in the way of “items” one needs to survive on this earth.  I have cut back on frivolous spending and ask myself “do I really need this ______?”.  If I keep going back to it time and again then I must either need it or WANT it really, really badly.

I tell my groups I speak to that even something as small as a new pair of shoes can change your whole outlook – not only just for the “fashion” but also your confidence and desire to “get up and go”.    Around here new shoes for school are just part of the process of getting excited about school and feeling confident that first day.

So we ended up with new shoes for the kids but I decided to put my new shoes back on the shelf to be purchased “at a later date” – teaching my kids and myself a bit about the waiting game.  To reinforce the “waiting” I also told the kids they can’t wear their shoes until school starts…wow mean mom eh?

So they anxiously wait to put on those new shoes and carry their new backpacks with colorful school supplies.

Bottom line is I LOVE a new pair of shoes for what it brings to your life.  Keeping the new shoes to special occasions is the hard part but I am working on it!

I went out of town to a conference last week and met some really great people.  One of them introduced me to the artist of this song.  The words are SO powerful.

I think many of us can relate to her message of being stuck in a place in life that we never thought we would be. It may be financial, job  related, being single or navigating an unexpected parenting journey.    When you stop and think about what you are doing in life what comes to mind?  Happy, fulfilled,  peaceful, appreciation for the little things?

More likely you think about all the crazy drama, running around, miserable feelings in our jobs or marriages. You let a series of “little” things determine your day or your attitude.  You have heard it a MILLION times it is the way you respond to things in life that sets you up for success or failure.

Happy is a choice.  Content is a mindset.  Make changes that support your desired outcome in life. Decide to take action to put yourself in a better place.

I want to make some changes to my diet and exercise regimen.  I have to set my mind to it and dedicate myself to making the changes.  The better choices of food aren’t going to purchase themselves…the weights won’t help if I don’t lift them right?  Same goes for other areas of life.  YOU can control much more than you think you can!

Enjoy this motivating song!  Laura Izibor could be my new favorite artist!  (Thanks Dr. Rick for the introduction)

Hope this sets your Monday off on a good foot!

Photo By: Wesley

Honestly I can’t think of a better time of year – SUMMER.

In particular for me it is the beautiful summer evenings that Colorado so often hands our residents.  It is a hot day, the clouds move in and we get a short but cooling rain shower.  Then like magic, the skies clear and it is a calm beautiful summer evening.  I love it.  My favorite things to do during summer evenings are -

• Sit on my patio or deck and read a book
• Go for a run
• Sip a cold beer or margarita with neighbors
• Bring my laptop outside and do some catch-up work
• Listen to my ipod and just take in the summer air

I find the coin phrase “lazy days of summer” to be a funny term.  So often we plan to slow down and relax during the summer break but how many of you actually DO it?  I am making a concerted  effort to relax more, sit more, and enjoy the time my kids have off from school.  Notice I said I am making an effort.  Generally relaxing and taking it easy is something you have to force yourself to do.  It doesn’t come naturally (at least for me).

I encourage you to enjoy your summer days (and nights).  It is such a fun time of year – flip flops, tank tops, pool time, more time and activities outside, grilling, picnics, vacations and family reunions.

I hope you are having a wonderful summer!  Get out and enjoy those summer nights!!!

Summer Nights

It was a hot day – too  hot to go for a run or be outside for my work-out until later in the day.  We decided to take the kids up to the local high school track for a workout.  Running, lunges, push-ups you name it we were doing it.  We looked like the “all American family”.  About half-way through our time at the track another family joined us.  First it was just a lady – as she walked by she said “what a fit family you are.”.  I said “well we are trying”.

She continued to walk around the track.  Soon, she was joined by her husband and older son.  She began pushing her son’s wheelchair around the track.  Sometimes she would walk, and then jog a bit.  It must have been quite a work-out to push him.  When I ran by, I noticed he had his leg amputated.  He was wearing a Livestrong hat.

We really did not have much interaction with this family but our presence and carefree nature was certainly evident to them and their reserved and somewhat quiet nature resonated with me.  I thought to  myself, I bet they are looking at our family and thinking – be careful, you never know what life will hand you, look at us – we have an adult child in a wheelchair.  Their life plan had clearly been altered.

As we left the track Glenn and I were talking about their son and assuming he was a cancer survivor.  We tried to make a bit of small talk with him on our way back to the car.  He was not very social (not that we blame him).  A few minutes later we realized we had left our car keys up at the track.  I ran back to get them and then found myself walking alongside the mother.

I asked her if her son was a cancer survivor.  She said no, he had been in a motorcycle accident and lost his leg.  While being treated at a local rehab hospital he was overdosed on pain meds which caused a brain injury forcing him into a wheelchair.   I was speechless.  She went on to say that he had just gotten married about a month before the accident and then his wife left him once the brain injury was confirmed.

I told her I noticed his Livestrong hat and stupidly assumed it was cancer that took his leg.   I told her briefly about Mason and his battle which pales in comparison but none the less felt like the right thing to do.  I told her that so often I think “we have paid our dues” and life should be easy from here on out.  A very dumb way to live but I do think that way sometimes.  She agreed especially since they had lost a child 20 years ago to infant Leukemia.  She figured what could be worse than that…and for so many years their life was “normal” and relatively good and then in a blink it all changed.  Just one month before she was set to retire from her job and start traveling the country, spending time with her grandchildren, her son gets in an accident.

It was so hard for me to believe and yet confirmed several of my deep rooted beliefs.

1. Life is short, enjoy every moment you can

2. Don’t assume “that could never happen to me” because it could and it may

3. You don’t have any clue what journey someone has been on just by looking at them

4. God gives us what we can handle and I don’t know why he has so much faith in certain people filling their plate with heartache

It was a good lesson for me and brought me right back to how very fortunate we are to have the life that we do.  It also made me mindful that in a blink our life could change once again and I need to walk the line of awareness without living in a state of paranoia.

A simple track workout turned out to be just what I needed to keep me grounded and get me back to writing.  I apologize for my absence.  I got a job about 6 weeks ago and have been submerged in that along with the business of life.

Wishing you a great Father’s Day with family!

Happy Memorial Day!

What a great day to take time to remember those who have so selflessly served our country.  Many are serving right now – many have been gone from their families for months or sadly years.  Every day men and women are losing their lives so we can be free.  Politics aside, these people are heroes who deserve to be recognized.

Please take time today to thank those you know who have served in our military.  My dad was in the Air Force for 38 years.  He had an amazing career and I am so proud of his dedication to our country.

I hope you have some fun plans with family or friends to enjoy the day off!   This song is a favorite of mine and when I think about the military it depicts aspects well.  Enjoy~

Letters from Home

I am smiling inside as I watch my husband take over the stay at home duties in our household.  Three weeks ago I got a job.  He is amidst the job searching world but in the mean time is staying at home and taking care of the kids and the house.   If you recall, we have three kids ages 7, 5 and 2.  For the past 18 months my husband had been traveling Sunday thru Thursday so his time at home was very limited.

He has done an amazing job.  He has had laundry adventures, shopping challenges and “cleaning” experiences that we never planned on him having.  On day five of his new role he announced “the stay at home parent gets NO respect.” Can I get a AMEN!!!!  He said ” I cleaned our closet and picked up the whole house and she did not even say anything”

Then he started thinking about all the times I cleaned or took on a project at home and he never said anything about it.  A thankless and never ending job indeed.

This is a short term “job” for him but certainly has opened his eyes to the job of a stay at home parent which is a huge blessing.   My new job will allow flexibility and I will be working for home.  It is just what we need to help get us back on our feet after Mason’s treatment and the past few years of struggling business.

I love my new working shoes and I love the perspective the role reversal has brought to our family! I know that on numerous occasions I chatted with friends about how impossible it is for men to relate to the challenges and downright exhausting role of staying at home and how I wished somehow, for just a short time he could have that experience.  It sure has been eye opening for both of us.

I hope you have an amazing holiday weekend with family and friends and remember, you never know what life is like for someone else unless you walk IN their shoes.

This song makes me teary eyed at times, makes me pause for a moment and look at my own life from a different perspective. Here are some other thoughts this song brought to mind for people.

One reason we can thrive is because of other people’s kindness.   We have a responsibilty to act kindly towards others who need our help, even if our ‘hands are small’, they can always do something good.

We are only here on this earth for a certain time and we should make something of it!

Take a moment to say to the world, I’m myself, and I can!! do it, I can make it myself.  Don’t give up hope!

No matter how poor and how low your life is your hands are your own.  You are the only one who can turn things around for yourself.  In this world no one “owes” you anything – you owe it to yourself to make the changes necessary to bring yourself out of the funk.

A day late on the Mental Music Monday but none the less a great, touching song.  Enjoy~

Hands

Being a friend to someone is easy but being a good friend or even a best friend takes effort and thoughtfulness.  I have a few friends (myself included) who are going through challenging times.  Here are a few things you can do to help a friend when she is wearing shoes she did not choose or ones that she does not like.

1. Be a good listener. This is not about YOU.  Even if you went through something similar or can relate on some level it is still not about you.  Listen to your friend.  Infer things from what she is saying.  Ask questions.  Repeat things she says so she knows you are paying attention.  Being a good listener takes practice and intention.

2. “Don’t judge the shoes” I have learned that I really can’t say for certain what I would do if I was in someone else’s situation.  I may think I would “make different choices” but you can’t say for sure until YOU are presented with the challenge.  Don’t judge your friends.  Allow them to make their own decisions and support them – even if you think you would not make the same decision.

3. Spend time together -  I have a tough time with this one.  Our lives get busy and crazy and all of the sudden it has been weeks or even months since we have spent time with our friends.  Sound familiar?  Carving out time to see friends is one of the best “medicines”.

4. Send a note or card.  I wrote about the importance of a handwritten card here.  I believe it to be a very thoughtful and personal way to show someone you are thinking of them.  Hallmark is still a booming business – they have cards for any and all occasions!

5. Offer to help. It took me many years to accept help from other people so this one doesn’t happen over night.  You have to offer to help, and offer to help, and offer to help.  Over and over and over again.  You may get turned down but eventually your friend will take you up on your offer and it will feel great.  If it is an illness they are dealing with check out my 27 ways to help post for more ideas on how to help friends.

Friends are so important in life.  They provide and extension of our families, love us when we are wrong, and are there for us in the peaks and valleys of life.  Reach out to your friends if they are struggling.  Just because you may not have been through what they are dealing with does not mean you can’t be a good friend to them.

This weekend Mothers everywhere will be celebrating.  If you are a mom, have a mom, have someone in your life “like” a mom you should honor that person.  It is a day to recognize all the sacrifices and dedication of moms around the world.  A day to show your appreciation and your love for that special mom.

There is nothing more amazing than becoming a mom.  I remember when my oldest first said “mama”.  I thought I could never get sick of hearing that word.  (admittedly, there are days now when I think I may loose my mind if I hear someone say “Mooooooomm” again.)

Being a mom is magical, demanding, exhilarating and exhausting. You can’t truly appreciate Mother’s Day until you are a mom.  I know most of us would not trade it for the world. I have vivid memories of Mother’s Day growing up. Join me over at Steady Day’s to read about “the perfect Mother’s Day”

Each year for the past 4 years, I have struggled on Mother’s Day.  Celebrating being a mom but missing my mom so much it hurts to the core.  I always cry.  It is hard for my kids to understand because they are busy trying to make my day special.  Some say “it gets easier as time goes on” - I disagree.

I think the longer it has been since you have lost a loved one the more difficult it is because your life has moved on, you realize you will never get to share things with that person.  You miss of them at a much deeper level.  You find a way to go on but it certainly is not easy.

On Mother’s Day, I seek balance.  I reflect on my mom and all the amazing things she taught me.  I try and celebrate with my kids and dig deep to be happy, not sad.  Being a mom is a privilege that should never be taken for granted.  Life is short, for some, it is way too short.  I take each Mother’s Day as a gift for you never know what is around the corner in life.

How will you be celebrating this special weekend?

This has to be our theme song around here right now.  Everything is in “flux” – changes on the horizon.  New jobs, new possibilities, the change of the seasons, changing habits.  When change is all around you the only option is to keep on rolling…

Flexibility has never really been my strength BUT at this point I don’t have a choice.  I have to keep rolling with the punches and embracing all that this life has to offer.   The good, the bad and the unknown.

I personally think the unknown piece is the hardest one to “roll with”.   I  realize that there are no guarantees in life so we had better make the best of the here and now; even when the here and now is not exactly what we thought it was going to be.

Keep on rolling!

Roll With the Changes

Happy Mental Music Monday!